The Struggle With TBR's

I began this book blogging journey by keeping a notebook where I would write down my thoughts on the books I'd like to write about. At this point I am on my fifth notebook.

On the first page of the first one I placed sticky notes listing the names of all the books I planned on reading and reviewing. I think I was able to get 25 on each side of the first page if I lined them up just right.

I started this because I am a big believer of writing down simple to-do lists and things like that so that I can get that satisfying feeling of crossing out things once I've done them. This was the same idea I had when I created this sticky note list of books. Once I finished reading and taking notes on a book I would gleefully tear off its corresponding sticky note. 

A book made it onto a sticky note usually when it came home with me (either from a bookstore or the library) and I thought it would be perfect to review. Somehow I managed to fill up the first notebook before I finished the list of sticky noted books so I transferred them into the second notebook. By the end of the second notebook, the sticky note list was a lot smaller but still hanging on.

I transferred it into the third book for all of 10 minutes before I pulled half of them off and replaced them with new books that I was more excited to read. That lasted I think for another day till I pulled them all off and threw them out. 

The books on the sticky notes just became like failed tasks. A lot of the remaining books have been on the list since the very beginning and it was starting to drive me nuts. The list was supposed to make me feel more organized but instead I felt confined. 

This feeling was exactly the reason I've stopped trying to keep TBR (to be read) lists. Every single time I wrote out a monthly TBR list, I would give up after about two books. What I think I would love to read would change all the time. Either new books would find their way into my hands or my moods would change and the lists would be ugly little reminders that I wasn't keeping up with my goals again and nobody needs that kind of negativity.

I've since acquired a book cart and decided right off the bad that the top shelf was going to be where I'd place books I'd like to read soon. I went and pulled some books from my bookshelves and then arranged them on the cart. I told myself it wasn't a TBR because those didn't work for me. I told myself that I was just going to put books on there for now and grab them when I wanted to read. It's been about three months, if not more. Some of those books are still there. Do I go there when I need a new read? Nope. It's like those books I was so excited for are now being ignored because they aren't on my bookshelf, they are on my cart.

I believe that am done with ever having another TBR. Goodbye to the book lists and shelves of books set aside because I think I'll read them soon. Goodbye to the stress they cause. I am just going to read what I want when I want and throw the rest out the window. 

Don't worry about my book cart though! She's still there, and still so very useful. Right now I'm in the middle of about 5 different books and they are living on the top shelf along with books who are simply waiting to be put onto my shelf. The middle rack is a catchall from my desk, and the bottom are books I'm going to donate or drop off at a free library.

How about you? Tell me your thoughts! Do you love TBR's? Do you hate them? If you love them, tell me how you deal with them and make them work!

I Like Big Books

Towards the end of last year I found myself drawn to the fantasy section at the bookstore and to the thick mass market paperbacks that live there. 

Before picking up The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan, I didn't know anything about the Wheel of Time series, or that it even existed. What happened was I picked up one of the huge books on the shelf, saw on the back there were 14 books in the series, and I was hooked. The blurb on the back was a total non-blurb, just a sentence about the Wheel of Time. The cover art was gorgeous and detailed, and there was no way I was leaving without that first book. There were 14 in this series. That was a whole lot of amazingness that I needed in my life. 

Funnily enough, after never having seen these books before in my life, I started seeing little mentions of The Eye of the World on bookstagram, along with mention of the rest of the series. 

So far I am about 250 pages into the book and I am loving it. Having been a fan of fantasy since being a child reading Anne McCaffrey's Harper Hall of Pern and David Eddings books that were on my Mom's bookshelf, it was great to come across another series of such greatness. I'm really not sure why I hadn't read anything by Robert Jordan before. 

Since buying the first book, I was finding myself just staring at it. I loved the feel of the book, the weight in my hand, how it looked on my shelf. It was massive as far as I was concerned, and I couldn't wait to devour it. I carried it around with my in my purse when I left the house, knowing I probably wasn't going to get to read it, but I didn't care. It just made me happy. 

I've sense bought the second and third one, and I received a box set of the 4th, 5th, and 6th books from my fiancee this past Christmas. 

Problem was, I had a book goal to get to last year, and The Eye of the World was such a big book. I kept putting it down in favour of faster reads, even though I've been enjoying it. I just couldn't devote the time to it because I needed to reach my goal. Spoiler alert: I didn't even reach my goal last year. 

I was also not familiar with the work of Brandon Sanderson, although I had heard of him before now. I found the first two books in The Stormlight Archive in mass market paper back size and I am in love. I haven't started reading them, but seeing them on my shelf makes me incredibly happy. 

2019 is the year of the big books, the books I want to read, and no big reading goals. I am just going to have fun with things and read what I want, which lately happens to be fantasy! 

Reading Goals for 2019

First we need to talk about 2018:

For the last couple of years I've been trying to read 100 books in a year. This hasn't actually happened. I think I made it to 50 or 60 in 2017 and then in 2018 I made it to 66 books when my goal was 75, which I thought would be easy.

I tried to read smaller books, ebooks, those that would be quick reads so I could add the book to the list of books I've finished. This was a really crappy way to read, and although I read a couple of good books last year, I don't have any that stand out as must-read-I'll-shout-it-from-the-rooftop books. That sucks. 

I tried to branch out by picking up some popular books, those that everyone else loved, telling myself I need to experience more reads outside of my comfort zone. Guess what? Those books are still sitting on my shelf unread. 

As for the Unread Shelf Project... well I was good for a couple months and then it was like it was never a thing. I acquired a lot of books last year and I still have yet to read most of them. I'm going to go count the unread and take stock of my books later today. 

Here's what I've decided to do in 2019:

1. My Goodreads goal is 12 books. That's one book a month, and more than doable. It's not about reaching a number, it's about reading whatever I want to read and just be happy. 

2. I will be attempting to do the Unread Shelf Project again, with two small changes. I will still acquire free ebooks and review copies, along with the occasional library trip. I will make allowances to buy books I need because they are part of a series I already own and am reading, or if it's one of the new releases I require from an auto buy author. Otherwise, there's no more trips to the book store buying a bunch of books because they sound good and I might like to read them, and I'm going to be "shopping" my own shelves for reads.

3. Catch up on reviews/post more frequently on here. I really do love bookstagram and writing reviews on my blog, regardless if who reads them. I really want to write more than just reviews and this year I'm going to make more time to do just that. 

4. I want to be as free as I can be about what I read, like I used to do. I think the last year or so I was more focused on reading what everyone else was reading, including new releases, when there are so many older books out there I would love to read. Now it's going to be all about what I want to read.

This is my plan and I am excited for all the great reads waiting for me! 

What are your reading goals?

The Unread Shelf Project

As you probably know, you can follow hashtags on Instagram now. I didn't really care much until #theunreadshelfproject2018 started up. I am totally following that hashtag and loving it. Also, you should be following @theunreadshelf herself who started this cool project with a couple of other really cool people!

The really neat thing I started noticing even a couple days into it was that people had some pretty cool and (in my opinion) obscure reads on their shelves that I know I haven't seen on bookstagram before. Not only that, but I had some of these same books on my shelves too! 

Before bookstagram I only picked up books that interested me. I stuck mainly to the adult section, reading mostly mysteries, and occasionally the big talked about books that were on the shelves. I had some go to authors and often I only really broadened my horizons at the library or when family passed books my way. 

Since joining bookstagram, I've expanded what I read quite a bit. For one, I find myself visiting the young adult section a lot more than I ever did. (I'm going to write a whole post on that soon). 

Another thing I find myself doing is paying more attention to the new releases, and the popular books that everyone else is talking about online. 

Honestly if I see a book mentioned over 5 times randomly on bookstagram I will go find out more about it. About 6 times out of 10 I end up getting my hands on the book, either from the library, in a cheap or free e-book form, or on sale at the bookstore. 

Because of this I have quite a few book sitting around that were totally influenced by bookstagram that I still haven't gotten to, and quite a few I have read and totally loved. 

Still though, true to myself, I do still creep around in the areas of the bookstore and library that I love and I grab up older books, books that I haven't seen anyone talk about, books that are totally all of my own finding. 

If you've been following my reviews for some time you'll know that I review all different kinds of books, and I think that sometimes I might be reviewing a book that 95% of you won't have ever heard of or seen before but perhaps I might be more wrong about that then I thought!

Seeing some of the odd and little mentioned books on my shelves popping up in the unread shelf project hashtag is pretty darn cool! I'm so happy to see that we all have such different tastes!

Instead of abstaining totally from buying new books and only reading those on my shelf, I have made a couple new rules for myself because, let's be real, there's no way I could keep that up.

I've decided instead that there would be no more cover buys or picking up books on a whim because they are on sale. I am allowing myself to buy books that are new releases I can't live without, part of a series I already have/started reading, or books I've been wanting for quite a while.

I am being so much more mindful about the books I buy. I've gone to the bookstore recently and I actually had a hard time finding something. I had a gift card to spend and where I would have usually pounced on a couple things I came across, I didn't this time. I truly thought about books I have wanted or needed in a series and looked for those first.

I've got enough books now that I can almost treat my shelves like a library and come across books I've forgotten about and pick them up like new again to read. It's been quite enjoyable so far and I intend to keep reaching for my shelf! 

Looking Back & Looking Forward

Hello dear readers,

Once upon a time I did monthly wrap ups, and I had bigdreams about doing more than just reviews on this little corner of the internet. Things have been sporadic here but I haven't given up on these dreams. I am trying to do like the lovely Leigh Bardugo says and "begin as you mean to go on". Nothing like the new year to reflect back, and make bigger and better plans for the future!

Let's start with my review of 2017. It was one heck of a year, but it came and went faster than I thought possible. 

I set my Goodreads challenge to 60 books last year and I made my goal with still a couple days to spare! A couple years ago when I started doing the yearly challenge, I set myself a goal of 100 books because I was sure I read that much normally and it would be a super easy thing to do. It wasn't and the first year I only made it to 50 books. Last year I set it a little higher at 60 and I made it. 

This year, I am going for 75. 

The goal of 100 is still in my mind but I am allowing myself a little grace and I am aiming for what *should* be reasonably within my reach. Whatever number I reach is still just a number, and I don't think that it really matters whatever number I or anyone else reach as long as we are doing it for the right reasons. I am going into this challenge with a happy heart and a goal simply to read as much as I possibly can because it feeds my soul. 

I did the nanowrimo challenge as well and failed miserably. Writing is still where my heart lives, but for some reason (actually a whole host of reasons that I don't want to admit to) I have a hard time throwing myself fully into my writing. It's what I want to do, but instead I turn to scrolling through Instagram or journalling, dreaming about that life when I am a full time writer. 

A big thing for 2018 is to live my life more intentionally. I have a full time day job that isn't all that and I want to spend my free time doing things that make me happy, like reading, writing, blogging, and paper crafts. Instead I do the things that simply make me feel good in the moment, but actually make me feel terrible about wasting my precious time off after I've done them. (I'm looking at you scrolling, mindless daytime tv, games on my phone, and living on my couch in pj's). It's time for a change. 

I've been trying to think of a word for the year for days now and I couldn't really come up with something I liked beyond "intentional", which is probably the most perfect word of the year for me. I think I am feeling uneasy about it because it means I actually have to do something. It's not just a pretty word that can be applied to situations where I'm sitting on my butt and hiding away. It means I have to think, and I have to do things, and I have to do them with a purpose. 

Baby steps, of course. 

Speaking of being intentional, my plans for this little corner of the internet is to post different kinds of content along with reviews, catch up with my reviews, reach more people, and get involved more in the book loving community in any way I can! 

I enjoy nattering on about books which is the whole reason I started this blog and the bookstagram account (@pamela.reads) a couple years ago, and I want to see them both flourish...intentionally!

Here's to a new year and a new start! Thanks for reading!

Pamela 

Yearly Book Challenge Time!

It's the new year and that means we set ourselves new goals and new challenges.

One of the big ones is of course, the reading challenge on Goodreads. For the last two years I've set my goal to 100 books and both years I failed. In 2015 I think I got to around 50 maybe? Last year I read 58 books and was on the 59th on December 31st. 

I've seen a lot of posts about how many books people have read on Instagram in the last couple days and I am totally jealous of the people who made it to 100 books. I'm even more jealous to the writers who've read that many while still completing books. That right there is the dream that I am no where near reaching. I get totally jealous and feel like I'm so much less than them because I've not been able to reach those goals. 

That's such a big thing, that feeling of less than. I feel it every time someone is out there killing it while I'm on my couch watch trash television. I've got a lot to whip into shape when it comes to myself and where I want to be, this I know. 

I'm starting it off with a reasonable, real, honest goal.

I would still love to read 100 books this year, but rather than giving myself that goal (and then changing it over and over through out the year to make myself feel better).

My goal is 60 books. 

Come find me and let's reach our goals together, big or small. We can do this!